Ari said mama!! ARI SAID MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't want to post until I was certain it was really "mama" and not just blabbering - I'm pretty convinced now!!

This morning I was taking a shower and Ari was in her play pen in the bathroom with me.  After a couple of minutes she got bored and stood up and started fussing.  I tried to comfort her, then went back to my shower - at which point she wailed, threw her arms in the air towards me, starting bouncing up and down and whined, "Mamaaaaaaaaa!  Maaamaaaaaaa!!"

She did it again just now after lunch when I left to go get a washcloth to clean off her face.  "Mama!!  Maaamaaaaaa!"

I'm not sure she knows I'M "Mama" - I think she may think "mama" means "fix it!" - but I am soooo okay with that.  :D :D :D

Smiling baby

It's like you just can't fit enough happy into this child.

Sophie

In response to the panic in the streets that the scare of BPA has created, I've decided to ditch all my plastic stuff and switch to natural. Even silicon pacifiers have toxins! I've just decided to play it safe from now on. So I bought Ari "Natursutten" natural rubber pacifiers, a "Sophie" natural rubber teether, a "Zmooz" organic cloth and natural wood teether, and "Green to Grow" BPA free bottles. I expected her to accept the new toys in place of her old - she's just not picky when it comes to stuff like that. I never, however, expected that she would love them THIS MUCH.

The first time she figured out she could chew on the wood on her Zmooz, she got a huge grin on her face and just started chomping down. She thinks the squeak in her Sophie is absolutely hilarious, and a few minutes ago (before I trapped her in her entertainer) she was rolling around on the ground giggling and chewing on the giraffe's squishy legs. And her pacifiers double as natural teethers - she seems to actually enjoy them more than her others! She is able to more easily grip the ring and so can insert and remove it with ease, a struggle with her others. Anyway - I'm really glad with these purchase and I can rest knowing my daughter is chewing on something completely natural - and not chock full of potentially hazardous chemicals that have been deemed "inert" by the same people who are trying to sell them.

I have a feeling Sophie and the Zmooz are going to be regulars in her toy rotation from now. ;)

Dancing Baby!

I cheated a bit. She didn't actually GET herself into this position. But boy, does she love it there! I put her hands on the bars and she just started DANCING! Check out those moves! She certainly didn't get 'em from me! Swing those hips, baby!! Yeah!

Ari Goes Swimming!

Me, Justin, Ariana, and two of our friends who are down from Dallas to visit all went to the pool today! Ariana was so cute in her little blue swimsuit and red goggles and white hat. I slathered her in sunscreen, waited thirty minutes, and off we went!

The water was warm, no doubt heated by the ridiculously hot sun that had only started to cool, so the transition was not a shocking one for her. In fact, she seemed to not even notice she was in water. The first few minutes she just stared. At everything. At the water, at people blowing bubbles, at me, at Justin, at the sky. After a while, though, she got really excited. We passed her from person to person and she splashed herself and got water all in her face and splashed herself some more. By the end of the 45 minutes we were there, she was smiling and laughing and splashing and getting very excited. We left while she was still having fun so her last "memory" of water would be good, and came home. She was so exhausted she went to bed 15 minutes early. She had such a tiring, good day!! :)

I don't have any pictures, which is sad, but I didn't have a camera I could take to the pool. We're definitely going to go to the pool again, and probably often, so we might go get a waterproof disposable to take down there. She just had SO much fun, someone needs to record the absolute bliss on her face when her hands hit that water and it splashes up in front of her!! :)

Ari's First Laugh

Ariana has laughed before. After much work and tickling, I can usually coax a few giggles out of her. Today, however, Ariana was in my arms, getting tired and about ready to go down for a nap. This was, however, before she noticed Toby lying on the floor. She watched him for a few minutes, he just lying there, occasionally letting his limp tail whack the floor. But when he moved - oh when he moved - she went INSANE. She laughed SO HARD I thought she was going to break something. She giggled and cooed and chortled hysterically at him for about 10 minutes. I managed to catch a bit of it on this video. I'm really looking forward to more of this laugh!!

Being "The Mommy"

I'm used to working with kids, all sort of kids. Small kids, big kids, young kids, old kids, happy kids, screaming kids. Most of them like me, ask for me to come back as their babysitter, run around the house in excitement when I show up. They curl up with me on the couch at bedtime, ask for me to read them stories, and fall asleep in my arms. But there is one thing that all of these kids had in common: I was not the mommy.

There was always someone that ranked higher in their minds than me. No matter how much they laughed at my jokes, loved running around and playing with me, begged me to read them a story, there was always someone who made their face light up, their voice change, their steps a bit lighter. Someone else. I was not the mommy.

I remember when this first hit home with me. I was "babysitting" a nine month old boy, the son of a friend. I put "babysitting" in quotes because there were about five of us girls hanging out and we were all watching him, so it really wasn't that big of a task. We fed him and changed him and played with him...and when it came time for bed, we tried to put him to sleep. Nothing would take. We rocked him and sang to him and walked around with him; we talked to him and hummed to him and all he would do was scream. Scream his little head off, scream like the world was ending, scream so loud I was genuinely concerned he might break something. We were helpless. And then, after about 20 minutes of desperately trying to figure out what was wrong with this child, his mother came back through the door. I apologetically handed him to her, saying that we had tried to get him to calm down. The next thing I witnessed was miraculous. This screaming, livid child hit his mother's arms...and was silenced. He instantly settled into her breast and fell asleep. It was then that I realized...no matter how "good" at taking care of this child I was...I am not the mommy.

I remember the first time I really felt like Ariana's "mommy." We were at Justin's school and we were showing her off to all of his teacher friends. After a while, I guess she just got overstimulated and started fussing. The teacher who was holding her at the time said, "Oh! Guess it's time to go back to Mom," and handed her to me. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. I am the mommy.

Ari has started sobbing, and I mean really sobbing. I'm talking big teddy bear tears, red eyes, monster pout, quivering lower lip, and that characteristic and desperate half-shaky gasp in between wails. And I love...I love...that I am the one that gets to comfort her. There is no comfort that trumps mine, no higher earthly power to which she can plead. Sitting on the couch at 6:00 and just rocking her, I am not waiting for Mommy to come home. I'm not watching the clock wondering if I should just feed her or wait...I'm not reaching for my cell phone to call for backup or see how much longer they're going to be...I'm just rocking her. Because she's mine. Because there isn't going to be a Mommy to walk through the front door and take her away from me. Because I'm the one who comes home to her. Because I'm the one she smiles at when she wakes up. Because I'm the one whose sleeve she grips while bouncing in my arms. Because I'm the one whose lips she tries so hard to trace and follow with her own, whose face she can now awkwardly and clumsily grab for, whose voice makes even those teddy bear tears and desperate sobs fade away. Because she calms to my voice, settles into my arms, and slows her breathing when she feels my breath. I'm the one who gets to hold her, because there is no one else to hand her to. Finally...finally...I am the mommy.

First Hospital Visit, Possible Move, TV Obsessions, and More

First Hospital Visit

Well, we've had an eventful last week! I had to go to the ER - it was Ariana's first time in a hospital. I was nervous having her around so many sick people, but she did fine and stayed healthy. I was better about the third day and it looks like things might finally be looking up for me, I'm so tired of being sick! I'm looking forward to being good and healthy from now on. :)

Smiles and Coos

Ariana is really starting to show her little personality! She grins at me every morning after she's eaten and her favorite game is making faces with me. We coo and giggle back and forth and she just thinks it's the greatest thing in the world. What I don't think she fully appreciates is that it is the greatest thing in the world. :) Here is a video of those little smiles and coos I love so much:

Are We Moving Again?!

We are caught in a bit of a dilemma right now! Justin and I both really want to move back to Dallas because we want Ariana to be around her grandparents, but Justin absolutely loves his job. We've decided that the best plan (if it's at all possible) will be for Justin to do summer school here and then we'll pack up and move! I have a feeling him finding a job is going to be fairly easy, Spanish teachers are a "critical needs" area in many places. Right now we're really wanting to move to Carrollton, and when Justin spoke with them last week they apparently sounded desperate for Spanish teachers. We are going to hate moving from Kingwood and Justin's great job and our great apartment and the great church we have here, but we've decided that it's time to make our life a bit more permanent and stable. If we do move to Dallas, it's going to be the first time we've ever moved anywhere with the intent of staying! We'll probably rent a place for a couple of years before buying a house, but we're looking at living in the northern Dallas area, Carrollton or Plano or even Richardson. Nothing is set in stone yet, we certainly don't know if this is even going to be possible or even likely, but that's the plan we're hoping for.

A Bit Sad...
On a bit of a more personal note, I am really bummed right now, one of my best friends is moving to HAWAII in a couple of months and while that's a cool deal for her I'm SO sad about it! I hope to enjoy the couple of months we've still got!

Lost in Obsession
Justin and I have returned to our obsession about Lost. Greatest. Show. Ever. We have a standing appointment with ABC every Thursday at 7. If you don't watch it - you're missing out, and don't start! I told Justin it's like a drug - you can't wait to get your fix and after you do, the only thing you can think is, "What am I doing to myself?! I hate this thing!" Really, though, it probably is one of the greatest and most brilliant shows ever devised. Very clever and smart and entertaining and kind of obsessive. ;)

Cloth Diapering
I love cloth diapering, especially now that I have enough cloth diapers! It's a lot easier than I thought it would be and saves a ton of money and landfill space. I would recommend anyone with a baby (and a washer/dryer in house) to look into it, it's not nearly as complicated as I think people think it is!

Well that's all that's new with us! I should go do the dishes while my sugar plum is still asleep. :)

Happy Birthday!

It's Justin's first birthday as a father today! He's 26. We're not sure how much we can really celebrate, given we are broke and have a 4 week old child ;), but I'm hoping we can find some way to make it special for him. Happy Birthday Justin!

Our little goth baby has some red speckles to go with her purple tongue now, courtesy of baby acne. More importantly, though, she's starting to smile! It's not very frequent, but the last two mornings that she has woken, she's grinned when I picked her up. I've seen lots of babies smile in my day, but I have never had my heart so completely taken from me with such a simple gesture. All the frustration and lack of sleep in the world is gone in a moment when she flashes that toothless grin!

We are slowly but surely falling into a routine and schedule, especially at night. We get her ready for bed and then read her a story before laying her down around 9:00. It takes her a while to fall asleep, she just kind of squirms for a while, but she's getting better and more used to going to bed at that hour. For a while, she would want to eat until around 11:00, but now that she's a bit older she can go longer and is more satisfied after each feeding, so it's becoming easier to let her be independent for longer periods of time.

She is getting much better about staring at things! The mobile above her swing is finally interesting; I caught her staring at it for a long time yesterday! It has a concave mirror and stuffed birds around it, which she finds almost as fascinating at her own hands. ;)

Well, it's time to do what cleaning I can while Ariana is napping! :)